Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
