I wanna bring you to show and tell
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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