Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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