just come out here and I will go home with you...
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
