Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
