When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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