Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
