Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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