and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
