He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
