I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
