Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
