New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
