Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
