Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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