And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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