Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
