How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
