yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
