she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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