john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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