Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
