so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
