it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
