Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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