My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
