I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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