Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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