hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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