First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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