ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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