This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
