they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
