You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
