How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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