What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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