How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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