I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
