New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
