We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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