There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
