i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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