I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
