I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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