Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
