Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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