I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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