I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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