If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
