god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
