oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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