Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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