Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
