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Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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