she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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