I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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