I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
