all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
