tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
