Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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