I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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